These memoirs might come as a surprise, however my story needs to be told. I'm far too mentally famished to face a juror, and too eloquent to be caught other than by self submission. Ironic, yes?
Real names will not be used and certain times and dates will be allocated for my personal safety. What I mustn't change is the details, because in the details is where lies the emotion and passion of my life.
I will say that I do not originate in the states. I'll begin where I first started my journey to hell. The year was 1978 and I was a man of 19 years. The smell of mother's buttermilk rolls in the morning filled my nostrils and I stretched; wiping the sleep from my eyes.
My sister, Katherine, was in the kitchen with mother preparing breakfast while I groggily stumbled outside to the latrine. The day was young and the sky, painted by God was beautifully scarred with crimson, orange streaks. Father was outside on our porch enjoying a fag, whilst reading the paper. He had a distraught look on his face. His face was wrinkled with worry and his brows furrowed as if to focus closer on his reading.
I approached him and tried to make small chat. He gestured with his hand that my company was not welcome. I never really paid any mind to his solidarity because in a way I understood it.
I had hellish thoughts that enveloped my consciousness, but a man ought to bury those sins deep in his heart and forget them as father would have said. Later that day, Katherine was out in our back room bathing. I was lying on my bed reading Dostoyevsky, completely hypnotized by his literary cunning, until I heard my mother screech.
It was faint and muffled, it had a familiar sound and I knew I had heard it before. Only this time it was more than just barely audible.
I with a calming surreptitious stride walked to my fathers room and peered in. There my father with a fistful of mother's hair was violently raping her. He had her head pressed down into the covers only allowing her head to move to inhale when absolutely necessary.
Strangely, I had became aroused and I almost caught myself caressing my penis when my fathers cold glare caught mine.
My heart sank as father arose. I had taken many a beating as an adolescent and I couldn't imagine in that moment what awaited me after the treacherous act I'd been committing. I ran over to the kitchen and grabbed the nearest blade I could find. Father in a sparring position attempted to strike me in his hastened fury, but was met with my blade lodged in between his ribs.
It was an accident, I will say that before God my creator, stabbing my pa was an accident. What happened next was not.
Father slid down off my blade choking on his blood. I felt trapped, cornered by my own actions and made the final decision to kill my mother.
She was still lying stomach down when I entered her room. She was exhausted and hardly moved when I kneeled down beside her. I much like my father grabbed her hair and lifted her head only to slice her throat open. When I had previously discovered the curious noise emanating from my fathers room all along had been the futile squeals of mother as father ravaged her, I have to admit I experienced a rather exhilarating sensation.
I had panicked when I killed father.
Mother too was only another nail in my coffin. I had acted foolishly again and I was beginning to feel ill as if my whole world was about to implode.
What would I say to Katherine? What was my story for the Gardas? Should I take my own life? Just then Katherine entered through the back door and presumably saw part of fathers body lying in the kitchen because I heard an awful wailing. I ran and tackled Katherine trying to calm her down.
She had dropped her bathing towel on the floor when I tackled her and I used my hands to cover her mouth. I stuttered incoherently trying to explain what had happened. I body pressed up against her warmth quickly settled in.
I tried to shake it off and stay focused but by now I was sure Katherine felt my cock hardening pressing against her leg. She squirmed, her eyes filled with terror. How could I?
With my own flesh and blood. The harder I fought these thoughts the stronger they became. I in a crazed mental state struck Katherine in the head and instructed her to keep quiet. I paced the room and finally grabbed a pillow case. My life was over. I had committed such a tragedy that I'd surely be locked away forever. In my adrenal drunken thoughts, I decided to enjoy myself. Of course growing up with Katherine, I had watched her grow into her body. I kept my lust away because I knew it was a sin.
I used the pillowcase to gag Katherine and turn her over as I kicked her in her ribs. I quickly stripped bare and my cock was already filled with desire. I, a virgins at the time was pretty inexperienced but day school with my lads had given a fair idea of what to do.
I grabbed my cock and found Katherine's vagina with my tip. She was still dry, as I lodged my cock inside her. I winced in pain a little but I knew that was miniscule compared to what Katy felt because of the way her back jerked.
I could hear her screaming muffled by the gag and it turned me on. The sensation was almost too much for me to bear, although not moist, she had began to bleed from this consummation. Her pussy was very tight and the grip it provided to this day remains unparalleled. I buried my face in the crevice of her neck and I violently began to ram all myself inside her as she clawed back at me.
I was in a race ting to reach my climax. Her ass was shaking with each thrust and her body looked so gorgeous as I exploded inside her. I did not go completely limp afterwards either, I kept pleasing myself inside her until I was aroused and hard enough to continue. I grabbed my blade and started to run in across her arms and back while fucking her. She cried and cried which only made me want to fuck her harder.
I stabbed her in her ass cheek because I had gotten excited and she screamed, coughing the gag out. Panicked I shoved it back in and turned her facing towards me.
I clenched my fist and struck her several times breaking her nose and slightly bruising my own hands.
I put my cock back inside her and started to suck on her tit. Now she was starting to get moist. I'm sure she wasn't exactly enjoying it but her body was acting in accordance. I started to nibble then on her soft nipple just to see the indentions of my teeth.
She sobbed and scratched at me which only enraged me even more. My cock was too large for her pussy and each stroke only induced seizure like movements from the pain. I eventually in my satisfied stupor bent over and bit down hard onto her breast until in was completely lacerated and hanging from my mouth. She clawed and fought me with everything she had but I had quickly restrained her by slicing her ear lobe.
I was having a great time with her an I came again which made Katy shudder. I felt goosebumps all over her body when I came and I grinned as she silently weeped. I gripped my hand around her throats and used my blade to penetrate her pussy.
Her body jerked from the excruciating pain but in one swift movement I sliced her to her belly button. The cut was superficial in the sense that her organs were still intact.
To be continued.